Word Vomit

Quarantine is starting to get the best of me. It's honestly like this crazy roller coaster ride for me right now. One day, I'm feeling so good and so motivated to get all this shit done, and then the next day, I feel as if I can barely get off of the couch and have absolutely no motivation. I have been trying to develop a routine and stick to it, and I actually do for the most part, however I still have those days where I'm just like, "fuck a routine."

A lot of people on the socials are constantly posting about how "we shouldn't take this time for granted" (myself included...oops lol) or "there's no excuse to not get stuff done" and blah blah blah. I do 100% agree with these statements, HOWEVER, I find myself almost feeling guilty when I just want to take a day or two and do nothing, but sit on my couch, on my phone, snapchatting my friends, while eating chips and guac. WHY DO I FEEL GUILTY FOR THIS?

Why am I the one in my own head like, "you are being such a lazy piece of shit you need to get your ass off this couch and do a workout and make a healthy meal" ?? Like girl chill. To be quite honest, I have no idea how to quarantine and if I'm even doing it right. I don't know if it's because I'm constantly alone in my apartment and I don't have someone here to motivate me to get tf up off the couch and workout, or if I'm just flat out lazy. This is definitely a recurring theme though lately.

To give you a better example, let me just do a quick recap of how my week has been. So, on Sunday night, I started planning out my week in my passion planner (if you don't know what that is look it up and get one). My routine for pretty much everyday of the week was going to be as followed:

• 8 am: wake up, make breakfast, drink my coffee on the balcony

• 9 am: workout

• 10 am: shower

• noon: have lunch

• 1 pm: 15 minute quiet time reading my devotional

And then after that I didn't really plan anything until dinner at 5 pm

Did I wake up at 8 am any day this week? NOPE. Did I have dinner at 5 pm any day this week? Also no. However, I kinda stuck to this routine for the most part, minus the exact times. I also worked out 4 days in a row, which was honestly a huge accomplishment for me. Even though I'm a freaking college athlete and should want to stay in shape, not actually having a season to look forward to anymore makes it 25,000 times harder for me to stay motivated. Plus, I think I have also been lowkey enjoying my down time and not having such a demanding schedule all the time. DO NOT get me wrong though, I would much rather have my old, crazy schedule back over this shit.

But seriously, since quarantine started I had only worked out like maybe 3 times in 2 weeks. And, here I am still struggling to find the motivation to do my 20 minute HIIT workout that makes me actually want to die. Will I ever though? Who knows, stay tuned.

Switching up the mood of this post really quick, I came across something this week in one of my online church services that really resonated with me. My pastor said something about choosing 3 tasks each day to get done, and if you get all 3 tasks done in the day, you can consider that day a success.

I find this really cool because honestly, these successes could be anything. We all have different ideas of successes. For me personally, I would choose something somewhat productive or something that would make me feel good (which I'm almost completely positive everyone would), but there are some people out there that would probably consider playing COD for 4 hours straight a successful task of the day, but whatever that's none of my business, as long as they feel good.

But seriously, this has been my goal and it's helped a TON. Even though I have those days where I really want to do absolutely nothing, this idea really helps me to still try and pick 3 little things to do in order to make myself feel less like a lazy piece of shit. Let's take today for example. I really did not want to do much today, but some little tasks I chose to do to make myself feel accomplished were: to read my daily devotional this morning, do the dishes, and bake some more cookies, so that I can bring them home to my family on Monday. Are these life changing successes? Absolutely not. Do I feel better because I did them rather than sitting on the couch all freaking day binging an entire show? 100%.

Anyways, that is all for this little quarantine day 1497235 word vomit diary. Stay safe out there all you cool cats and kittens.