Post college graduation life update! Here we goooo.
Since my last post, life has changed quite a bit. In some ways for the better, but in some ways not so much. However...one of the best things that has happened is that ya girl is OFFICIALLY a college graduate *que applause and confetti* !!!
I'm still in shock about it to be quite honest. Just saying the words "I have a Bachelor's degree" or "I just graduated college" is so crazy to me because it's one of those things that I really wasn't sure I would accomplish by the time I was 23. And now that I have, it feels DAMN good.
I'm not going to lie though, it got a bit rocky for a sec. I almost had to retake my final class because I legit failed it (oops). Luckily, my professor came in clutch and let me fix an assignment in order to pass the class so that I didn't have to enroll in classes again this fall. Shoutout Professor Lipot. Really though, I struggled bad these last 2 semesters. There were so many times where I wanted to throw in the towel and say fuck it, but I'm so proud I didn't.
Now for the question you have all been asking...how has my life been since graduating?
To be quite frank, it's been interesting. So much has happened in my life over the last few months that I wasn't really prepared for, which in turn made life leading up to graduation pretty difficult. Now being post grad, I feel a huge sense of accomplishment and relief, but I have also completely transitioned into an entirely different stage of life that I think I wasn't at all prepared for. Obviously I knew it was bound to happen, but it really feels like it all hit much sooner than I was expecting.
Graduating college is such a whirlwind of emotions. When you picture graduating college, you picture this big woo-hoo accomplishment moment where all the stress is finally gone and you have all this freedom and you're excited as hell to take on the world. It's not exactly like that though. That that only lasts for maybe 0.2 seconds and then life is there to slap you right in the face. At least that's how it's been for me.
There is soooo much they don't tell you about post-grad. For starters, no one tells you how freaking hard it is to actually find a job where you can use your degree. I have a job, but I've kept it super lowkey because to be quite honest I was a little embarrassed because it is no where NEAR the type of job I thought I would be doing after earning a mother freaking Bachelor's degree. Anyways, I am currently employed part time as a preloader at UPS. I also just started another part time job as a server at a local restaurant. If you have no idea what being a preloader is all about though, let me just tell you that it consists of me standing on a conveyer belt for hours, scanning packages and loading and unloading trucks. I leave covered in dirt, random bruises from packages, and sore as hell. It's been quite humbling to say the least and is definitely not what I had expected to be doing when I got hired on.
Don't get me wrong, UPS is a great company to work for and I am thankful to even be employed right now, but I just can't help but feel like there is so much more that I could be doing. I want a career that fulfills me, not one that just pays my bills. One that allows me to really make a difference in the world, rather than just clocking in, getting my shit done, and leaving. Which in turn has caused me to question a lot of things. Like why I even spent 5 years of my life working towards a degree just to end up working a job that doesn't even require a quarter of the work experience I have. Or why I moved back home to save money when really I'm not making nearly as much as I thought I would be. Which is why I'm actively working towards trying to advance within the company or find another full time position elsewhere.
Another thing no one tells you about post grad is that it takes a long time for you to actual feel "normal" again, and by normal I mean not feel like you're constantly forgetting to do an assignment or that you're missing a deadline for a paper that legit doesn't even exist anymore. I still hesitate to even make plans on certain days because I'm so used to spending those days writing papers and doing crazy amounts of homework. I can't even count how many times I have had mini panic attacks because I thought I forgot to turn something in or forgot I had class, when I am literally not even enrolled as a student anymore. Don't get me wrong though, not having homework is an absolute DREAM. When my friends that are still in school complain to me about their homework I'm still in awe over the fact that I legit cannot relate anymore...for now at least.
One of the main things that I truly had no idea was coming is the actual depression you feel after getting your degree. You might be thinking I'm just being crazy or dramatic, but I am telling you it's real. I'm usually not one to wallow in my feelings too much because I always like to think about the positives in life and I know things could be much worse, but it really does suck at times. To be honest, I feel like it wouldn't be as hard if the pandemic didn't cause the tail end of my senior year to get completely cut off. There was so much more I wanted to do, but unfortunately it all got taken away and now I can't turn back the time, and that's really what weighs on me the most.
You go from seeing your best friends every single day, going to game days, being on campus, and living the college lifestyle to clocking into work everyday, struggling to find a new routine, being hundreds of miles away from your friends, possibly moving back home, and feeling more drained and stressed than ever before. This transition honestly caused my health to completely dwindle for a number of weeks. I could barely move from my bed, wasn't able to work, I had zero energy, all I wanted to do was sleep, and anything I ate caused my stomach to legitimately feel like it was ripping apart. I deadass thought I had COVID ya'll. (disclaimer: my test was negative)
I'm glad this happened though because it really forced me to start putting my health and well-being first again. It also allowed me to come to the conclusion that my body hates dairy products and I should limit my consumption as much as possible if I don't want to experience the terrible stomach pains I had ever again. Being a former athlete (which I still am not used to saying), I've always been pretty good at paying attention to the foods I put into my body, especially during season, and making sure I'm taking care of myself inside and out. But since I'm no longer playing a sport, I now have to really make a conscious effort to pay attention to the things I'm putting into my body and stay active because I don't have volleyball holding me accountable anymore.
So as of lately, I have been trying to focus on a new routine, that includes more mindfulness, self-development, activity, and things that will help me live an overall healthier lifestyle. I'm also trying to make the most out of my days by planning out my daily activities, rather than scrolling mindlessly on my socials or taking 2 hour naps as soon as I get home from work. It hasn't been perfect nor easy, but it's a start and ya always gotta start somewhere.
Overall, I am really just so thankful to be where I am right now. It may not be the ideal situation, and it may be shitty sometimes, but that's life. It could always be much worse. Graduating college has truly been my greatest accomplishment thus far. It was a great chapter of my life and I am so thankful for the memories, experiences, and lessons it taught me, but I'm beyond excited for what lies ahead. There's so much more I want to achieve now and I'm looking forward to continuing to share it with you all.
xoxo